Biography of Brenda Audrey Parsons

Malcolm Smith's Family History Archive

Biography of

BRENDA AUDREY PARSONS

[Ref. S.5]

The years after marriage

Brenda Audrey Parsons was married to Malcolm Archbald Smith on 11 November 1967 and the couple took their honeymoon in Paris. Their money ran out fairly quickly so they returned home early and settled into their cottage to start their new life. There was still much work to be done on the cottage so they spent much of the remainder of their honeymoon continuing with that work. They also made a couple of trips to the Dorset coast which they liked so much.

Brenda had already found a job as a hairdresser close to home so she was able to start work soon after moving to Verwood. However, she was suddenly faced with running a home and looking after a husband as well as working and that was worst on Fridays when she worked late. In the evenings she would cook the meal whilst Malcolm got on with work on the cottage. She worked on Saturdays as well so on Sundays she and Malcolm would often take a trip to the coast to relax a bit.

To start with they had only the bathroom, kitchen, living room and one bedroom furnished, and then not fully and much of their time and most of their money was spent in getting the work done. They had been given bedroom furniture as a wedding present from her parents. Malcolm's mother had given them a cooker. Other furniture and fittings they bought themselves, most of it being secondhand, but all of it being suitable to keep the cottage in period style. Malcolm also spent time putting the garden into order including creating a productive vegetable patch.

They quickly made new friends including one couple with whom they played cards once a week. Unfortunately the couple split up and Brenda and Malcolm ended up letting the husband lodge with them for a week but had to encourage him to leave after a week as it was proving a bit akward.

Brenda and Malcolm took a pet tabby cat which they called Tibby. It transpired that she was pregnant and she had a litter of kittens of which they kept a not very intelligent black and white male which they named Benjamin. Tibby was run over when running away from Brenda's parents poodle when visiting one weekend. Malcolm bought a male tabby from nearby Westworth Farm and they called him Eastworth (the posh cat), "posh" because he had an elegant deportment. He disappeared after a few months and no trace was ever found.

In 1968 Malcolm took Brenda's Triumph Herald car and used it in part exchange for a secondhand Wolseley 1500. Malcolm did use it for getting to work but Brenda would drive it on her day off work to visit her sister. Later that year, Brenda's twin sister Wendy was told by her husband to leave their home along with the two children. Brenda and Malcolm immediately agreed to take them in which they did the following day. They remained for about one year until Wendy remarried in March 1970.

A carnival was held in Verwood every year and the cottage had the advantage that it was on the route of the procession which could be viewed from the front garden. Brenda's family sometimes came to visit at those times so as to enjoy the parade.

In the summer of 1969, Brenda and Malcolm jointly took a holiday boating on the Norfolk Broads with Malcolm's work colleague Dave Johnson and his wife Fiona. That also was the year when Brenda and Malcolm decided to start a family but they found that they were not being successful and sought medical assistance.

Brenda's father passed away in Pool Hospital unexpectedly in November 1973. She and Malcolm had dropped her mother off at the hospital whilst they went down to Weymouth where Malcolm had business. That concluded they spent some enjoyable free time at the seaside before calling to collect Brenda's mother then finding her distraught. Brenda was also devastated.

In August 1986 the family took a holiday in North Wales, staying in a chalet near Trawsfynnyd. One day, when Malcolm had taken the boys on a short train trip, Brenda slipped on a shop step, breaking her right leg and dislocating the ankle. An ambulance was called and they waited for Malcolm to return so that he would know what had happened. She then spent the remainder of the holiday in hospital where her leg bone was repaired with metal screws which remained in place for the rest of her life. It was a very difficult journey home as she had to keep her leg up and the car was already full of children and holiday parapheranlia. The plaster remained on for eight weeks but it had been put on before the stitches had been removed. She managed to continue with her hairdressing.

Brenda's mother contracted cancer and passed away in 1992. About 1993 Brenda was diagnosed as having type 2 diabetes following the temporary loss of sight in her left eye. This did not require medication and could be controlled by a diet free from sugar or fats. That year her sons joined the Air Cadets in Fordingbridge so she used to drive them there for parade on Thursday evenings the Malcolm would collect them on his way home from work.

In 1995 son William left home to go to university at Imperial College in London.

When she was in her late 50's, Brenda suffered her first mini-stroke. She was standing at the kitchen sink when she sank to the floor. As she had had some sherry earlier it was assumed that it had gone to her head and the stroke was not recognised. About six months later she suffered a second whilst laying in bed in the morning. As before, she was trying to speak but her lips just flapped as if she was blowing out air. An ambulance took her to Bournemouth hospital where the strokes were diagnosed and she was prescribed Aspirin but it was also revealed was that Brenda had a mild form of Multiple Sclerosis. A further stroke occurred when Brenda was being driven through Hinton Admiral so Malcolm took her directly to Bournemouth Hospital where she was admitted. She was then put onto Warfarin blood thinning medication.

Brenda and Malcolm moved to a bungalow in Pine Walk in Verwood early in 2002, having spent three months in a rented holiday chalet in West Farm Verwood. She continued hairdressing at that time, cycling to her clients homes with all her gear on the back basket. Her brother Michael was diagnosed with terminal cancer and passed away quickly afterwards in September 2003 and the shock of that brought on another stroke to Brenda at which she was admitted to Salisbury Hospital. In the mean time since being diagnosed with MS, Brenda had been consulting a specialist. The condition was not severe but there was no treatment that could prevent it from slowly progressing. It mainly affected her legs and her walking ability gradually diminished.

In 2004, Brenda and Malcolm moved home to Fordingbridge where, after much searching, they settled on a small house at 26 Parsonage Park Drive. This was a good location as it was a short and level distance from the town and Brenda was able to cycle into town to do her daily shopping. They had initially chosen a bungalow a short way out of town but found that the steep hill into town was too much for Brenda to manage on her bicycle. Brenda did start having falls from her bike and Malcolm got called several times to rescue her.

Son James was married in 2006 and came to live in Fordingbridge in the house that had belonged to Malcolm's mother. William married three years later and continued to live in London.

The MS very gradually made Brenda's legs more difficult to move about so Malcolm designed a single storey extension to the house to provide a bedroom and bathroom without the need to use the stairs. It also made the dining area less confined. Brenda continued to ride her bicycle until it was no longer possible. After that, she did try an electric tricycle but bizarely could not balance on it. As an alternative, she tried a mobility scooter but she had difficulty in controlling it as the feeling in her hands had been damaged, probably by her hairdressing work over many years. She needed a walking stick to support her then later a walking frame. Malcolm purchased a wheelchair to take her round the shops but she could walk within the shops or on even gound outside by pushing the wheelchair to support herself. KNEE FALL FROM CHAIR

Top of page